[whimsical music]
- Scram, you thieving rascals
or I'll eat your liver!
Raw.
[speaking Indian]
- Bang!
Take that, you varmints!
Dad!
Somebody bought that house.
- What the hell are they wearing?
- [Voiceover] They look interesting.
- They look cool.
- They look gay.
- Eh.
[Indian chanting music]
[bell ringing]
[whimsical music]
- Ryan.
You gotta stop sponging off of us.
- Excuse me?
- You're gonna have to start supporting yourself.
Now.
- Dad I gotta do at least 20 paintings
to have a gallery show
and then I make money.
It's not a hobby.
- Hey look.
- [Voiceover] The one that crazy night?
He was like looking at me all the time though.
Why are you looking at me?
He was looking at me like this.
He looked in my eyes.
You know?
- [Voiceover] No.
- [Voiceover] Haha!
- Hahaha, that's very funny.
Yes, go ahead, laugh it up.
Go ahead.
At my expense, fine, that's good.
- You graduated from art school three years ago.
What's your plan?
- Yeah, business strategy, cash flow,
profit margins?
- It's not computer hardware, it's art.
It's what I love to do.
It's what I have to do.
- You're lucky.
You know what you wanna do.
I don't even know if I want to be a doctor.
- She's top of our class in medical school.
You should see her take a rectal temperature.
[everybody laughing]
I'm serious.
- Rectal?
- What?
- We all have our talents. [laughing]
So, Ryan, you moving out?
- More like my old man's kicking me out.
- Good, you must be fearless in life.
- Papa, what are you saying?
What are the odds of making it as an artist?
He's better off playing the lottery.
- [Voiceover] This is necessary for his karma.
- Why won't you let me take risks?
Maybe that's my karma.
- Your karma lies elsewhere.
This you must accept.
Art is Ryan's strength.
A spartan life.
- Like Gandhi, ji.
We should get him a doti.
[laughing]
- Doti?
- It's like a big diaper.
You know, like the one Mahatma Gandhi wore.
- And, he brought down the entire British empire
wearing only that.
Julie, in India, men wear dotis
and women wear saris.
In the olden days trains did not have proper restrooms.
So when the train would stop, women would go
on one side of the tracks
and men would go to the other side.
Since they all wore loose-fitting clothes
they would simply lift and go.
[everyone laughing]
- You know the real reason papa liked
to wear his doti, right?
- No.
- No underwear
Lets his balls breathe.
[guys laughing]
- Everyone.
- Did we say something wrong?
- I don't know.
- What's that?
- Goodbye gift from my dad.
It's a gun.
[light music]
My new home.
What do you think?
- Where do you sleep?
- Sleep?
I'm here to paint.
- It's what the world needs.
Another romantic artist.
- Well congratulations Ryan.
- Thank you.
Now that I have a new studio,
why don't we do your portrait?
- And I'll wear my sexy sari.
- Hey Priya.
Priya, let's go.
- Where do you think you're going?
- We did our part, we're going shopping.
- Have fun.
Does this even fit you anymore?
[indian music]
- Directions for tahata.
We got lost from your directions.
- Those are the ones he left.
- Raj, better you forgot your cell again
and the wallet too.
- Thank you mom.
- Eh, Ryan.
No wonder he always forgets things.
You always pamper him.
- Oh, be quiet.
Come on Ryan.
Let's do puja to bring some prosperity to you.
- Okay.
[indian chanting music]
[light latin music]
- Just need you to change a few things.
This color should be red.
And the figure down here, I don't get it.
Take it out.
And one more thing.
Lose the Indian shit.
Art.
- I can't do that.
I can't arbitrarily change something
because you don't like a color.
- Well that's too bad.
You just missed out on a great opportunity.
- This kind of art is on a,
it's on a collector level.
Only a few galleries have the clientele
to sell this type of art.
And I'm not one of them.
- Come on man, give me a chance.
If my art's so good,
why can't I get a freaking show?
- I'm not trying to discourage you.
I'm leveling with you.
Ever hear the "phrase dirty little secret"?
I was a photographer.
Damn good one too.
Every once in a while, I'd meet someone
with state-of-the-art equipment.
Ate at all the best restaurants,
stayed in the nicest hotels.
And then one day I met one of these guys.
Turns out his parents are millionaires.
And he's living off a trust fund.
He isn't taking photos because he has to,
because he loves it.
He's doing it because he was bored.
And it's the same thing in the art world.
It's a rich man's hobby.
And that's the dirty little secret.
Good luck, kid.
[intense music]
- [Voiceover] Dinner.
- Look what I made for Raj.
- You're late.
- I'm gonna be an artist when I grow up.
- You do what you love, honey.
- Art is not a real job, it's a hobby.
- Hey, our little Michealangelo.
- Hey, come on.
What are we, a bunch of fruitcakes?
We're Americans for christ's sake.
What do we know about art?
Look.
This is you.
This is how much of a chance you have
of becoming an artist.
[slamming]
- Jack!
I can't believe you did that!
- Eh, just getting the boy in touch with reality.
He'll thank me for it someday.
- He's ten.
[somber music]
[plates shattering]
- Picasso.
- Late night, Van Gogh?
- Oh yeah.
Burning the midnight oil.
- Sorry to interrupt you ladies
but we got customers.
[indian music]
- Hey.
- How you doing?
What's all this?
- I thought you could use some TLC.
Tea and loving care.
I'm gonna show you the ancient indian secret
to making a good chai.
- [chuckling] Ok.
- Masala is like me.
It's the spice that gives them kick.
And the sugar is like you.
Because, so sweet.
Last, you grate the ginger.
Always fresh ginger.
And stir it up really good.
And we have chai.
- Mmm, chai never tasted so good.
[laughing]
- It's my actual favorite one.
They have retractable landing gear.
It was the first ones to have that, yeah.
Wow, ain't she beautiful?
- She?
- Look at that.
The F5.
Helped american soldiers win a 40 to zero victory
over Soviet trained Iraqi pilots.
What?
- Nothing.
- What are you smilling about?
- No, you're funny.
I've never seen you this excited about your MBA.
- I'm so sick of computers and math
and crunching numbers.
There's no end to it.
- Well, then why don't you just do something that you love?
I mean I'm no Einstein but I know you love to fly.
I mean, why did you drive me here?
- Cause I want to surround myself
with the two things I love most.
- Oh, that's so sweet.
- Aw, that's so sweet. [laughing]
- [Voiceover] Hey!
- Hey big bro.
- The master at work.
- John, what are you doing, this is my home.
Put it out.
- [John] And it's a lovely home.
- How's work?
- It's not exactly my dream job.
- Well, Michaelangelo.
- If Michaelangelo was alive today
he'd be washing dishes too.
Do not light that.
What do you want?
- I need money.
- [laughing] What do I look like, a bank?
- [John] Come on, just a couple of bucks
to get me through the month.
- No!
Why, so you can buy your booze?
I ain't giving you shit, John.
- Hey, what about your rich,
your rich India friend?
You can mooch off him, cant you?
- John, I am not mooching off Raj.
- Well then get me a job.
- No!
- Why the hell not?
- Because a job takes commitment.
People have to depend on you.
And wonder if you're gonna come in to work
and in what condition.
- Don't lecture me about commitment.
Where were you for me?
You left me alone with dad
while you were always off with that family.
You had Raj.
You had that.
I got nothing.
- Ryan, don't make me late again, you little turd.
- [Voiceover] Johnster, you watch your mouth!
- God you stink, penishead.
- I can't find my other shoe.
- I don't care.
Wanna go back to the orphanage?
- I'm not an orphan!
Mom!
- You forgot your lunch.
Dickhead!
- Bye bye, I'll see you after school.
[percussive music]
[toy plane zooming]
[school bell ringing]
- [Kid Ryan] Why are you dressed like that?
- This is my school uniform in India.
The nuns make it compulsory.
- Is it true you Indians don't eat meat?
My daddy says you're a bunch of cow-lovers.
- My papa says all Americans are divorced.
[Indian chanting music]
- Okay, we are home.
Raj, Priya, [speaking in Indian]
And I will make you all a snack.
- Where do you think you're going?
- None of your business.
- Listen John, Julie's having a party tonight.
Why don't you come?
I'll ask around and see what I can do.
Okay?
- Thanks.
[latin music and party chatter]
- Only got five minutes you're late to an hour.
- Sorry I came late.
- [Voiceover] Do the walk will you?
Do the walk, do the walk.
Do the walk, Have one each and do the walk.
- Alright, alright, shut up.
I'll do the walk.
- He's gonna do the walk!
- Look at me, I'm an orangutan.
How was that?
[glass breaking]
- Hey Muhammad, why don't you try one of your own?
- What?
What'd you say, bitch?
Why don't you go ahead and say it now?
What, you mute?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Yeah what's up, tough guy?
Mr. Orangutan man?
What?
- Knock it off.
We'll take care of this.
- No, he's got something to say.
Why don't you go ahead and say it, man?
- [Ryan] Do you wanna help clean this up?
Come on man.
- Yeah, alright.
- Good.
- Thanks bro.
- Bro?
Like he was your brother. [laughing]
- Thanks for the spit.
- You're welcome.
- Oh there's something coming up.
[light guitar music]
- So tell me Ryan.
I wanna paint your portrait?
Is this your pickup line?
- No they're for exotic Indian girls.
- What about this exotic Indian girl?
[Ryan laughing]
You know for an artist, you don't have a romantic bone
in your body.
- Now that's not true.
- Yes it is.
- I'll show you.
- Okay.
- Promise not to laugh.
- I promise.
- I see a line of Picasso in your hair.
The color of Velasco on your skin.
The lie of Monet in your eye.
And the passion of Renoir in your lips.
♪ Young and beautiful girl
- But what if you found the right girl?
- I have too many masterpieces to do.
You know if your'e trying to make me break my concentration
you're doing a really good job.
Can you stay in the pose for a little longer?
So what about you?
And I'm sure your dad's out trying to look for Mr. Right.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- I don't know, I just figured that
he'd be out there looking for some rich Indian doctor
for you to marry.
- Yeah well he can try, but,
I'm gonna decide who I marry.
- Is that so?
- I think I wanna marry for love.
[guitar music]
- What are you looking at, Ryan?
You like to cook?
- Nah, artists don't cook.
Can I have some of your clay?
- This isn't clay, silly.
This is parida.
[faster paced indian music]
- This is for you.
[giggling]
- [Voiceover] You!
Arr!
Cool.
- That's Shiva.
He's a very angry god.
He destroys all evil.
- I'll be back.
Because I'm the destroyer of all evil.
- You can have it.
- Really? Thanks!
- Where are you going?
- Raj's.
- Little scrote.
You know what dad says about them.
- Hare Krishna, hare krishna.
- Oh, cool!
- Gotta go do my chores.
- Look, papa!
- American kids.
[playful music]
[guys arguing]
- Right there.
- I don't see it Raj.
- The grand building behind it.
- Ryan, can you paint that?
- Piece of cake.
- Yeah, except all the buildings would be skulls.
- No, not all the buildings.
Some will be naked women.
[laughing]
- Paint me?
- Nude?
- Of course not, it's dumb gogoche,
you're so stupid.
- Dude, seriously, don't paint my sister nude.
- You love me.
- I do. [laughing]
[quick paced indian music]
- So Julie, how's your mom?
- Okay.
She's gonna go in for some more tests next week.
- That sucks.
So what are you gonna do?
- Um, I may have to drop out of school.
Work more hours.
- You can't drop out of school.
You wanna wait tables your whole life?
- No, I'm just waiting for my prince charming
to ride up and save me.
- I wish you'd let me help you out a little bit.
- And what would your father say?
- What would our father say?
- He would say [speaking in Indian]
- Hey Raj, you wanna help me out a little bit?
- Forget about it, you're an artist.
You're beyond help.
[ladies laughing]
- Look here [speaking Indian]
I know this man's parents, very well settled.
Amrik is number one in his class at Stanford.
He is studying to be a doctor.
- Papa, I first have to finish my studies.
- You're not 18 anymore, it's time you settled down.
- So now I'm an old maid?
What about Raj?
He's older than I am.
- Raj is next.
Look here.
Sanjay graduated with a PhD in Computer Science.
He's director at Microtech.
Very well positioned.
- Mommy.
- Oh look at this one.
Rajan, good looking man.
[driven music]
- That it?
- Yup.
- With tax, 165.
Declined.
- Try it again, please.
- [Cashier] Declined.
- Shit.
- Wanna go for three?
- Sure, why not?
You seem nice enough.
[receipt printing]
- Ram tells me you want to join the business.
I can use a sales manager.
- No thanks Uncle, but-
- [Ram] Raj has many opportunities.
It's important he gets a stake in the company.
- Of course.
But sales is a great way to learn the business.
- [Ram] His MBA demands a senior level position.
- What kind of position are you looking for, Raj?
- Well, I'm not really sure.
- What do you mean, you don't know?
You had six years to think about this.
- I mean I'm just not sure that I wanna spend
the rest of my life crunching numbers.
I might want to get my pilot's license.
- Can you believe this?
My son the dreamer.
- You make it sound like it's some lowly position
or something.
- I didn't sacrifice the last 20 years of my life
so you can slave for someone else.
My son will be a CEO.
- What are you talking about?
It's not like I'm trying to be some artist or something.
Look at Ryan, he's not a CEO
and you completely support him!
- Ryan's different.
- How?
- He comes from a different culture
and different class of people.
How can you reach the top of mountain here
if you aim for the bottom?
- What!?
- There you go.
In life, working hard is not enough.
We must work smart.
[humming]
You and Ryan make a good team.
You are the brains and he is the brawn.
- Papa, why don't I do chores?
- Well, there's a saying.
A cobbler's son will be a cobbler.
You notice how Ryan's father always does
manual labor?
Ryan will do the same.
You are destined to be a leader.
Enough play.
Time to study.
The tutor will be here soon.
[sighing]
[light music]
- Congratulations, sweetheart.
- [Voiceover] Alright.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- You did it, brother.
- Thank you Priya.
- Congratulations Raj.
- Thank you, I appreciate all your help.
- Alright, not for long, good luck.
- Congratulations peta.
Please take a picture.
- Okay.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks for coming.
- Are you sure this is what you want?
- It doesn't matter what I want.
- Yeah it does.
This is your life, might as well be happy.
- Are you happy?
- I'm doing what I love.
- You call washing dishes and being up to your ears
in garbage doing what you love?
- Hey bro, I'm just doing that till i get my show.
- You're behind on rent and you haven't sold a damn thing
the whole time you had that studio.
- It takes time, I'm finding my voice.
- You know what, you've been saying that for years now.
You're never going to find it.
Face it Ryan, you're no artist.
Yeah?
- Well at least I'm not a sellout like you.
Chasing money cause you-
- Oh right, money's not important.
Great philosophy, follow your bliss.
Look where it's gotten you, dishwasher.
- You're too much of a pussy to fight
for what you want.
Letting your dad run your life.
- At least he didn't kick me out of my own house.
He actually cares what happens to me,
wants me to be safe.
Not on the streets where I gotta hear gunshots.
I sleep in a bed, Ryan.
You sleep on the floor like a homeless person.
Face it man, you're a total failure.
[somber music]
- Hi guys.
- I want to see the painting of my daughter.
- Okay, it's right here.
Take a look.
- Good.
Yes, indeed you are painting her portrait.
I'll come back to pick you up later, peta.
- See you Mr. Shah.
- Here you go.
- What was that all about?
- Oh, he insisted on dropping me off.
- Hi, I'm Katie Cline, with the Cline gallery.
I got your slides.
Mind if I look around?
- Sure, go ahead.
- You are so cute, by the way.
Hmm.
- Can I get you a cup of chai?
- [Katie] Excuse me?
- I mean a cup of coffee,
can I get you a cup of coffee?
- No, I'm fine.
I'm fine, thanks.
- Hot.
You've got talent.
I mean, seriously, a lot of talent.
I love this pile of dead stuff here.
This is great.
You know, you've got a lot of potential.
But I can't show this work.
No, you're not ready.
- Excuse me?
- You've got Rembrandt over here, okay?
You've got Michealangelo here.
And you've got Van Gogh over here.
You need to make a statement.
You need to find your voice.
You need to say something.
I'll be back in another year or so.
Bye kids.
- Make you some chai?
- Maybe she's right.
Maybe my dad's right too and Raj.
Maybe I do suck.
I mean, look at all this crap.
- Don't listen to them.
You're really good.
You have to believe that.
I do.
I believe in you.
- Priya! [shouting in Indian]
I treat you like a son.
How dare you betray my trust.
You of all people should know better.
Have you lost your mind?
Is this the best you can do?
A dishwasher?
- We does not come from money.
- In life you need money and connections.
He has neither.
- May I say something?
- [shouting in Indian]
You are a family.
Ryan always said that art is his true love.
- Well that's a good point.
- [shouting in Indian]
What about Raj?
- This does not apply to him.
- Why?
Why, because he's a boy?
Typical Indian double standard.
- Good point.
- [Ram and Priya shouting in Indian]
- Raj is busy studying and working
at Harash's business.
- Raj is busy alright.
Studying Julie.
Those two are practically engaged.
[knocking]
- Anyone in there?
Stern, Ryan Stern.
- Yeah.
- Sorry, this is your eviction notice.
Pay up by Friday or get out.
What a mess.
- Mommy, you knew about this
and you didn't tell me?
- You moved us to America.
What did you think would happen?
- We moved to America for better opportunity.
Not to destroy a 5,000 year old culture!
Raj!
What are you doing with this girl, hm?!
Look at her family.
She comes from divorced parents.
Typical American!
- I'm not dating her family!
- Family is everything, don't kid yourself!
A foreigner will never fit in!
- How are we ever gonna fit in
when you see us as foreigners?!
- There is no fitting in!
You're a young man.
Concentrate on your work and your studies.
That's it!
I will find you a nice Indian girl to marry.
[somber music]
- [Ryan's mom] Ryan has just told us so much about you.
- Thank you.
And this is for you.
- Ah, thank you.
Won't you come in, huh?
- Please come in.
- [Ram] Raj tells me you're a teacher.
- Yup.
History, social studies.
History of the American west.
Middle school.
- Teaching, a noble profession.
Takes lots of dedication and patience.
- Oh, you ain't just whistling dixie, sister.
Yeah.
How about you?
- I'm a businessman.
I own stores.
- Yep.
- Are these real?
- Oh.
Yeah, you bet they're real.
Yeah.
Now this baby.
This is a 50 caliber Hawking.
It's genuine.
Really hard to find.
This was the weapon of choice of the mountain men
of the 1880s.
Here, you wanna hold it?
- No, no.
What about the children?
- Oh, what about them?
- Is it safe to have guns in the house with children?
- Oh safe, listen, they're trained.
And in this country it's our constitutional right.
- He wanted to pan for gold.
He still believes there's gold in them there hills.
- You must be a big Hollywood fan.
- Yeah, why do you say that?
- You have so many movies.
- Ah those.
You see I tape a lot of history specials.
You watch a lot of films?
- I do, I do.
But they are Hindi, Indian films though.
They kind of remind me of home.
- In Bollywood films, lots of silly singing and dancing.
- Oh, be quiet Ram.
No, they aren't silly at all.
- Bollywood?
- Bollywood, the Hollywood of India.
They make over 400 movies a year.
Lots of poor people there, it's a cheap escape.
Jerry Miyah.
- Jeremiah.
Jeremiah Johnson.
Oh, it's a great film.
Did you see it?
- No, no.
- Is it a musical?
- No.
It's about a mountain man.
- Oh he loves to tell this story.
- I'll go get changed.
- Oh, I'll call the kids
and then I'm gonna go check on dinner.
Boys, Ryan, Raj!
- Now the story I'm gonna tell you
is about one of the most fascinating characters
in the Old West.
John Johnson.
Liver-eating Johnson.
- Woohoo, go liver-eater.
- So, gets his supplies,
heads off into the wilderness where he hunts grizzlies,
and buffalo, and he traps beaver.
Eventually, he comes in contact with a tribe
of flat-head indians and becomes smitten
with the Chief's daughter, the Swan.
He trades the chief his best horses
in exchange for her hand.
It's kind of like a dowry, right?
So he sets off into the wilderness for a spell
and when he returns,
the Swan is gone.
When he looks around for her, can't find her.
Finally,
he finds her body.
Her head was caved in.
Well from the indian signs around her body
he figured out it was the Crow indians that killed her.
So in revenge, he hunts them down
one by one and killed them!
- Oh god.
- Here's the part that they didn't tell you about
in the film.
They couldn't show it because it's too real
for Hollywood.
After he kills them, he slices open their stomachs
and then he eats their livers raw. [cackling]
- Something's in your mind, isn't it?
Better tell me.
Tell me what it is.
- I, uh,
I broke up with Julie.
- But you love her.
Raj, better, you must listen to your heart.
You know, papa means well.
But even he went against his parent's wishes
when it came to marriage.
Yes.
You know something?
Papa's parents, Dada and Dadi,
they never liked me because I was from a lower caste.
And he had arranged for his marriage another girl
but he chose me in his love marriage.
You shouldn't give up.
Ryan, better.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- Well, Priya tells me that you must work
many hours now.
And a mother has a right to check up on her son,
don't she?
- Aw.
- So how's everything going?
- It's been better.
- Listen, betta.
I need to ask you a big, big favor.
- Sure, anything.
- I want you to come to my daughter's party.
- I don't know.
I mean I'd like to, but,
I really don't think Mr. Shah wants me around.
- Don't be so hard on him.
You see, in the heat of the moment,
people say things in anger that they don't really mean.
- How's Raj?
- Same for him too.
You both said things that you didn't mean.
Now, about the party, bring Julie.
Yes?
- Okay.
- Bye.
[guitar music]
[indian dancing music]
- Mr. Shah.
- What are you doing here?
- Well, we were invited.
- Come with me, Priya.
Mohan.
Mohan here is a neurosurgeon.
He's top of his class at Harvard.
He's so good they call him butterfingers.
My daughter Priya.
- Beer please.
- A beer?
You got an Indian party.
You need an indian drink.
- Scotch.
- Don't you feel out of place?
- I didn't.
- What a bitch.
- Ram, where is Raj?
- I don't know, he must be running late.
- I was gonna congratulate him.
Our sales at his branch have doubled.
It's all because of him.
- I'm sure he'll be here in a minute.
- Um, where is Raj?
- We haven't seen him since couple of days.
- We were hoping he's with you.
- No I haven't seen him since.
- It's just not like him.
- It's a good party.
And what do you do?
- I'm an artist.
- Oh.
Hi!
[applause]
[percussive dance music]
♪ Karma karma
♪ Karma the destiny
[indian dance song]
- Enjoying the party, sunshine?
- Oh, yeah.
It's a real barnburner.
- I'm starting to wonder why we came.
♪ Unity it should be done
♪ Hands together, it's all about fun
♪ Roll in the center and increase the fade
♪ Brothers together it's never too late
♪ Karma karma is meant to be
♪ No matter what you do it's your destiny ♪
[indian dance song]
♪ Karma karma
♪ Karma the destiny
- Here, this'll make you feel better.
- Ryan.
- It's an indian party.
You need to have an indian drink.
Cheers.
[coughing]
- So, tough guy.
What do we do now?
[applause]
- This is a mess.
I can't even look at Priya without Ram glaring at me.
- I feel like an untouchable.
- I'm sorry, sweetheart.
This wasn't my intention.
This wasn't my intention at all.
I'm so sorry.
- Where the hell is Raj?
- Mommy, Julie.
- [Ram] Hey! [shouting in Indian]
You betray me again.
- Ram, this is not betraying.
- Ryan, what don't you understand
about stay away from my family?
- [Harash] What seems to be the problem here?
- These two are ruining my family.
They are destroying my children!
- Don't you think you're overreacting?
How can this beautiful young lady, this rani,
destroy anybody's family?
- He's destroying my family.
- Me?
I came here as a favor to Gayatri.
- I think you better leave now.
- Tell Raj he forgot this.
[thunder rumbling]
[somber music]
- Hello, peta, hello Ryan.
How was your day?
Good good.
Mine was good too.
- Ah shoot, it's five o'clock.
I gotta go.
- Bye!
- Bye Ryan.
- Hey!
- Hey John.
- Dude!
- It's not lit.
- What can I do for you?
- You copy this stuff?
- What?
- I don't know.
It's like I've seen these paintings before.
In books and stuff.
- What are you talking about, John?
- I don't know.
It just looks like you're doing stuff
I've already seen somewhere.
Like it's not really you.
Like you got no personal style.
- So when did you become an art critic?
- When I'm writing, I ask myself
how can I put my ideas down unique only to me?
Otherwise it's just words on paper.
So I mix it up, I experiment.
I listen to my gut.
- Really John, I didn't know you were a writer.
Put that out!
- Well, how would you?
You were never around.
- Hey you little ballsack!
[car honking]
- [sighing] I remember when she was just
a sweet little thing.
The artist falls for his muse.
- Shut up.
- Are you banging her?
- No, John, I'm not banging her.
God.
It's not that easy with Priya.
- Why, what's the problem?
- Her dad.
- Ooh.
Yeah, he's a butthead.
Nice lawn, Mr. Butthead.
How's Mrs. Butthead?
[dramatic music]
[indian chanting music]
[bell ringing]
- You heard from Raj?
- Not since he moved out.
- Really?
- He hasn't called papa since.
The house is so quiet, Julie.
I don't even wanna go home anymore.
- Well, I didn't know he had it in him.
- I know it doesn't seem like a big deal
but for an Indian son to just leave the house like that.
Like papa said, if we were still in India,
this would have never happened.
- I wish there was something that I could do.
- I think he just needs time to figure things out.
- How's Ryan?
- He lost his job.
Overtime will cover the studio until next month.
But after that.
He misses you.
Why don't you talk to him?
- I don't know.
The art just seems to be like the love of his life.
Maybe we're just not meant to be.
I mean, between the cultural issues and,
where do I fit in?
[somber music]
- Ugh!
Grown man, still can't fix a leak.
- Oh, shut up and get to work.
- What do you want?
What do you want?
Hi Mom.
- Hey, baby.
- Well, your mom said you had some leaks
that needed fixing.
Jesus Christ, it's like monsoon season in here.
This place was built in the stone age.
- Thanks Dad.
- Alright.
Look, I'm gonna leave you the ladder and the tools, alright?
Because, yeah.
- Do good work.
- Look at this.
Don't do this, Ram.
Why are you doing this?
We came here for furtherment opportunity, right?
And yet, we are denying our children
the most personal freedom
to love whom they choose just as we did?
[light hearted music]
- Hi Dad.
- How are you?
- Thanks for coming.
What do you think?
- I think it's pretty amazing.
- You guys go look around.
- You did mail out all the invitations, right?
- Yes, Ryan, all of them.
- Did they call?
Are they coming?
- I don't know.
Why are you asking me?
- [Jack] Did a pretty good job.
- Oh, Jack, look at this.
That's so good, that's you!
Let me take a picture.
- Wait, wait, I wanna look at the hat.
- No, no, turn around, let me take a picture.
Turn around.
Okay smile.
- So maybe now you can write that novel.
Get published.
- Yeah.
Yeah, the publishing business.
It's not about talent.
It's who you know and who you blow.
One day at a time.
- One day at a time.
- Aw, the muse.
Is she here?
Well go get her, Romeo.
- It's not that simple.
I mean, you know her father.
- So?
This is the great american melting pot!
So start stirring, bunny.
- Ryan, Ryan.
This is Clift Johnson.
Clift, Ryan Stern.
Clift and I go way, way back.
He's got a lot of connections in New York, oh hon.
He has clientele about,
they're the wealthiest people in the world.
- Takes a lot of guts to find your own voice.
This style of yours, we could make some serious money
in the Big Apple.
- How though?
I've only sold two paintings.
- I don't know, honey, look.
West Coast is not the place for your style.
Out here they like large abstracts and glass.
- Go east, young man.
Collectors will snap your work up in a New York second.
- Right on.
- Excellent.
- Okay, what are we waiting for?
- Good.
Oh you should be very proud of your boy here.
You know, this is your big break.
I'm gonna make you a star.
Once you move to New York,
sky's the limit.
Am I right?
Let me show you this one over here.
We'll be back.
- Ryan?
Sweetheart, what's the matter?
This is everything you've dreamed of.
[somber music]
- Listen, Kiddo.
You've gone against everything I ever taught you.
A lot of guts.
But you're still not eating your liver raw, are ya?
You still don't have the girl.
Reach, for christ sakes, huh?
Go on.
- Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
- Ryan, Ryan.
[suspenseful music]
- You have viciously brought me here.
I don't like this arts.
- Papa.
- Don't start this now, this is important for Ryan.
Congratulations, sweetheart.
- Thank you.
- Congratulations, Ryan.
- Mr. Shah.
Mrs. Shah.
There's something I have to do.
Priya Shah,
will you marry me?
- [speaking in Indian] Look at what you've done.
- That's right, Bhagwan did it.
- I warned you not to-
- [speaking Indian] That's enough.
Go now.
- Is this what you want, [speaking indian]?
- Yes papa, it's what I've always wanted.
[happy music]
- Ryan.
- Raj.
Thank you for coming.
- I wouldn't miss this stuff for the world, man.
- My son.
- Would you try this again?
- Is that a promise ring?
- What's a Raja without his Rani?
- Ryan, oh sweetheart.
- Hey.
Hey do you know that a shark has two penises?
- [laughing] You're a crazy man.
[indian chant music]
[priest chanting in Indian]
- What hand do I?
- Take off, take off your hat.
- Now what am I supposed to do?
- [Ram] Right hand.
[shouting in Indian]
[audience chanting in Indian]
[bollywood music]
- I always knew they were meant for each other.
This is America after all.
- Hey Bhagwan.
♪ Karma karma
♪ Karma the destiny
- Like I was your brother.
- Thanks for the spit.
- You're welcome.
- [Voiceover] Cut.
[laughter]
- I thought I was your brother.
[laughing]
I don't feel good.
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- Bro?
I thought I was your brother.
Ooh, here comes dinner.
- [Voiceover] Cut. [laughing]
- I thought I was your brother.
Oh, there's something coming up.
- [laughing] God!
♪ White or yellow, black or brown
♪ You and me, king or clown
♪ You and me, him or her
♪ Black or brown, rich or poor
♪ Karma Karma
- Does this even fit you?
[laughing]
- Does this even fit you anymore?
- [Voiceover] Cut.
[laughing]
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- Um [laughing]
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- I'm sorry.
- Forget about it, you're an actor,
artist!
You're beyond help!
[laughing]
- [Voiceover] Cut.
[door creaking]
- Jack! [laughing]
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- What the hell do you think you're doing?
[laughing]
- Little ballsack.
God you stink.
Penishead.
- [Voiceover] Mark.
- Woohoo! Go liver-eater!
Go liver eater.
Woohoo, go liver eater.
- [Voiceover] Cut.
[laughing]
- Hey Baglan.
- Hey Bagwan.
- Hey Bagban.
- Hey Bagwan.
- Hey Bagwan!
♪ You or me, him or her
♪ Black or brown, rich or poor
♪ Karma Karma
- Hmm, hmm.
He's one of the ma-
ah, shit ,sorry.
Swan? Gone.
Yeah.
Smitten.
Swan.
Well.
♪ Karma Karma
- Stupid kid.
Damn kids.
You stupid kid.
♪ Karma the destiny
[laughing]
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- He has a lot of, dead end
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- This is a great lift.
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- Of course.
- [Voiceover] Cut.
♪ White or yellow, black or brown
♪ You and me, king or clown
- Yeah he's a butthead.
Nice lawn, Mr. Butthead.
How's Mrs. Butthead?
[sighing]
Well.
Priya's not a butthead.[laughing]
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- Chai.
- [Voiceover] Cut.
[laughing]
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- Funny.
- [Voiceover] Beep.
[laughing]
- Get ready.
- How?
- - [Voiceover] Deep breath.
Never mind, cut.
- I don't know what the heck.
[laughing]
You stupid idiot.
- Can I do it again, I'm sorry.
- [Voiceover] Cut.
- Raw. [cackling]
♪ Karma Karma
♪ Karma the destiny
- Bang, take that ya varmints!